Having Fun with Pomergrantes
by BewilderedLoca
Summary: Kagura tries to enjoy a meal without having a attentive needy mercenary bothering her. She should've have Naraku fix that lock on her door.


**{BewilderedLoca}**

I do not own InuYasha in any shape or form.

Bankotsu; Okay, what are you planning to do to us here?

Kagura; I hope no _monkey business_ this time. *scowls and crosses arms*

**Oh no. Actually it's a short oneshot featuring you two. I have nothing negative up my sleeve this time... I promise!**

Bankotsu; ... Okay. I trust her :D

Kagura; How can you trust her? She's lying. You're lying. *points at Authoress*

**Am not. To prove it, it's about you two eating pomergrantes... *mutters* with alittle 'some some' in the end.**

Bankotsu; YES!!

Kagura; What was that?!

Bankotsu; Nothing, m'dear ;D

Kagura; *scowls* Better be!

**Hehehehehe... enjoy!**

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It was one of the free days Kagura had, where for once Naraku or Hakudoshi didn't have her off, doing some risky or stupid task and when she had to watch Hakudoshi and protect from whatever his mission was assign too. For once in her life, she could just enjoy her day off and free load off the food and hot water the castle supplied them with.

Naraku had took hold of another castle yet again by kicking the lord's son out and had surprisingly convinced the servants and workers there, that he was the heir to the Higewaki's legacy.

The supervisor, who was second in command, of course knew he was lying but a small time threat made by her "husband" made the man cringe and cry where he stood. It was then he feigned any prior knowledge about their previous lord and proclaim that Naraku was their rightful leader. The servants doubted the act but then let it go, once they figured out it wasn't any of their business.

Figures.

She groaned at the thought before pulling a basket of chinese apples she scoured from the southern lands, up on her bed before smiling at the sight of them. She loved her chinese apples. She'd had always found them beautiful and cute to eat. The outside surface was a dried magenta color, shaped as and onion but smell nor tasted anything like it. In fact, when it was cracked the barrier was bright yellow and inside held dormant little tasty red gems.

There colors were from deep red to pale pink. Bitter to sweet.

And the seeds were even eatable! Unlike the orignal apple seeds, which tasted nasty.

Kagura let out a small smile before peeling the skin of the pomergrante and then cracked the fruit open.

"Hey, what's that you're eating?" Kagura's eyebrows furrowed before shooting a side glance at her supposed betrothed 'husband'.

The lie she used to keep the neighboring princes and young lords away from her.

"It looks good." she heard him comment before grabbing a candle and aimed for his head.

"Get out of my room, Bankotsu." she told him, "You're not wanted."

"Well, I would get to work on that lock on your door, first." he said while pointing at the door. "Besides, I just wanted to know what you have there."

Kagura's expression darkened. "It's a pomergrante."

"A pom pom what?"

"A chinese apple." She simplified while he blinked. "You actually went to China to get it?"

Kagura groaned. "No. I just... forget it. What are you doing here?" she asked

"Well... I just wanted to... you know." He looked away and shrugged, "Check up on you."

She frowned. "Well, I'm fine now. So leave." she deadpanned.

"Aren't you gonna offer me any fruits?"

"No."

"Why not?" he whined while she glared at him.

"Because they're mine."

"Don't you wanna share?"

"No."

"Well, that's not nice."

"Oh well. You'll salvage."

"What if I don't?"

"Oh well!" she quipped before tossing the red droplets of fruit in her mouth.

"Are they sweet?"

"Yes. Does that help you?"

"Well, I'd like to know how sweet."

"Well..."

"Please. Atleast give me three. Atleast."

"No. Mine." Kagura mumbled before stuffing a handful in her mouth.

"But you have like four chinese apples!" he pointed out

"And they're all going in my tummy." she said.

"You'll just explode if you eat all of them by yourself."

"They can't get you fat."

"How do you know?" he asked her, "you aren't all that slim either, you're actually starting to get abit _thicker_."

She gasped, "You ass! Now I _**want**_ you to get out!" she yelled before accidently throwing one her pomergrantes at him. "Ha! I caught one!"

"Give that back!" she snapped.

"No!" he argued before trying to open the shell with his fingers. "Hey, why won't this open?" he asked while Kagura rolled her eyes.

"You're suppose to peel the outer layer from the top first before you can... WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!" she shouted when she saw Bankotsu began to slam the fruit against her dresser.

The red juices from the smashed fruit dye Kagura's brand new turquoise kimono as well as any other pastel or light colored kimonos left out in the open.

"Don't you have ANY IDEA what the juice does to CLOTHING!?" she shireked while Bankotsu innocently blinked.

"Why? What does it..." he stood shut when he saw the red blots staining Kagura's bright and light colored kimonos. "Oh... it does _that_."

Kagura stomped her way towards him and snatched the kimonos away from any further harm. "You idiot! Do you have any idea how long it's gonna take to wash these stains off!?"

"Ten minutes?" he guessed.

"NO!!" she yelled before throwing it on her bed and prodding him on his chest. "More like THREE HOURS!!"

"Well, I'll wash it for you, if it means that much to you." he offered while Kagura groaned. "No, even that's worse!"

Bankotsu frowned, "Well, I'm sorry for trying to make up for my mistake." he told her before walking away. She stood there and watched his retreating form leave before feeling guilty.

'_I hate it when he does this._' she thought before calling after him. "Bankotsu wait!"

He was barely out the door when she called his name. "What?" he said seriously, causing Kagura to flinched involuntarily.

She sighed, "Look, I'm sorry for lashing out at you eariler and I don't mind you sharing a pomergrante with me. I just" she felt something dash by her and her a thump on her bed. She turned around and found out that it was Bankotsu, sitting down with a chinese apple in his hand while looking up at her innocently.

"How'd you..." she questioned while he let it waver in the air. "Just never mind. Look." she said before taking a seat next to him and showed him the proper way of eating a pomergrante. (this is how I eat it, personally...lol shutting up.)

"You peel the skin from the top of the head like this and then you-" she stopped when she caught Bankotsu digging his thumbs through the shell before it stabbed it's way in.

"-cut the shell in half with the knife." she finshed before Bankotsu looked over at her and blinked. "I messed up. Can I have a new one?"

"What's wrong with that one?" she asked in slight annoyance.

"It's messed up." he said, sucking the juice on his fingers. "Oooh, it _is_ sweet!"

Kagura sighed, "Look take mines. I'll make another one." she told him, handing him the pomergrante.

Bankotsu smiled, gleefully like a child would as he plucked the red tiny fruits from it's place and plopped them into his mouth. "Wow, these are good."

"Mhmm..." Kagura nodded in agreement before she felt eyes staring at her.

"Bankotsu... what are you doing?" she asked as she looked over to find his cobalt eyes staring straight at her. "What's wrong?"

He lifted a finger and pointed at her, "You have something in your eye."

"Oh, if you think I'm gonna fall for that pathetic trick, you got another thing coming, pal!" she scoffed and crossed her arms, pulling away from his focused stare and gasped when he grabbed her face and pulled her close. "What the?! What do y-you think you're doing?" she snapped when she felt him literally pluck something out of her eye.

"Eye booger." he said before flicking it away. "Sorry, things like that bother me. I can't talk to anyone, seeing them with eye boogers or with boogers in the nose, just... dangling there. It's that gross." he admitted while Kagura twitched and batted her left eye.

"That's nice to know." she said while he took her pomergrate and took a huge bite at the fruits inside.

"Hey, that's mine!" Kagura snapped.

"Really? I don't see your name on it!" Bankotsu teased.

"You're gonna be seeing stars in a minute, if you don't give it back to me." she threatened him, raising her fist at him as he smirked.

"Now now, you're threatening me?" he mocked, wagging his finger while she frowned. "While I have _this_ in my hands?" he wavered the chinese apple in his hand.

"C'mon, give that back! It doesn't belong to you!" she snapped, reaching her arm out for it while he pushed her arms away from him.

"It's mine." Bankotsu stated while Kagura shoved him, causing him to fall on his back. She crawled on top of him and fought for custody of her pomergrante while being completely clueless at what position Bankotsu had her in.

~!#$#!~

Meanwhile in the hallway, Suikotsu and Renkotsu had just finished a challenging but compelling game of chess.

"I have to say Suikotsu. That was one heck of a game we had there." Renkotsu commented while Suikotsu grinned. "It has definately been awhile since I had a good gaming match."

Suikotsu sighed, "I know what you mean." he then held his hand over his stomach. "Say I'm starving..."

Renkotsu groaned, "Yeah me too. Guess the game took alot out of us didn't it? Well, we'll see what Bankotsu hasn't devoured yet in the kitchen."

"We'll be lucky enough to find sake or wine even.." Suikotsu started off before he stopped walking.

Renkotsu blinked and looked over to Suikotsu, gaping staring wide eyed at the door. "Hey Suikotsu what happen-" he frozed when he heard grunts and groans from the other side... not too mention what he saw.

"Hey, you have to work harder to get _**this**_, Bankotsu!" Kagura shouted out, straddling his waist while pressing her breasts firmly against his chest and at his neck.

"What are you talking about, Kagura. You were wide open. Do you honestly expect me to pass this chance up? I hope not!" Bankotsu smirked while thrusting his hips up halfway as Kagura then reached down his manhood. Both Renkotsu and Suikotsu flinched at Bankotsu's pained yelp.

"You're grabbing my nuts too hard for my liking, lady!"

"Well maybe if you didn't take my 'apple' away from me, maybe not of this wouldn't have happened!!"

"Well don't count on it, sweetheart because it's all gone and I'll never give it back to you, even if I could!" Suikotsu looked away in horror while Renkotsu gaped.

Suikotsu gripped his head, "Oh no, The children are having sex! Oh no! What will we do?"

Renkotsu blinked before pushing his visually violated friend further down the hall.

"We **will** ignore this and pretend _this_ never happened!"

~!#$#!~

"Bankotsuuu..." Kagura whined while Bankotsu smirked, loving the way his name came out her mouth. "Give it back! I want it! It's mine!"

Bankotsu tapped his chin, "Hmmmm, I don't know. Should I?" Kagura groaned. "C'MON!!!"

"Alright Alright... I'll give it back but I want something in return." he smirked while she pouted and crossed her arms.

"If it's a lap dance, Bankotsu. You can forget about it!" she hissed while he grinned.

"Lap dance?" he innocently asked, "Now why would I ask for that even though, you gave me one, not too long ago..."

Kagura's eyes widened in horror before realizing her postion, "Augh! WHY YOU-!?" she began to erupt before Bankotsu silenced her with his finger.

"Nuh uh uh. Want your pomergrante?" Bankotsu teased while Kagura frowned.

"I want your balls ripped out." she seethed as he grinned.

"Now there's no need for dirty talk before our nuptial hour." he teased.

"I'll cut your throat before you can even get on one knee."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Give me, my pomergrante back, Bankotsu!" Kagura snapped as Bankotsu sat up halfway, gesturing her to get off his lap.

She quickly did so as he sat up next her. " I'll give you the pomergrante back but only if you do me a small favor." he smiled.

"What do you want?" she quipped while glaring at him.

"A kiss on the cheek."

"Go find a tree and die, Bankotsu."

"C'mon, that's not nice."

"Drop **dead**, Bankotsu!!" she exclaimed while he pouted and gave her his puppy eyes.

"C'mon Kagura... it's just a small innocent peck on the cheek. What harm can be done?"

"Knowing _you_.... alot." she frowned. "How can I know that you won't take advantage of me?"

"Well, you're still a virgin... right?" he asked as she flustered, "W-well..."

"Then no, obviously I won't try anything." he said as he added, "C'mon it's just a simple kiss on the cheek."

"Yeah but I still don't trust you." she told him.

"I promise I won't try anything."

"Yeah suuure..." she drawled.

"I'm a man of my word, Kagura. I promise I won't trick you into anything."

"You promise?"

"You can slit my throat if I go against it." he told her, being serious for a moment while Kagura blinked. She was hesistant at first but when she saw how serious he was, she almost felt as if he wouldn't do anything.

Almost.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"You promise you won't do anything?"

"I promise you my heart, Kagura." he said seriously but showed his playful side by wavering her chinese apple in the air.

She sighed and reached her hand out. "Come on, Bankotsu. Give me my pomergrante back!"

"Then give me a kiss on the cheek."

"Pomergrante first!"

"Kiss my cheek."

"No."

"No kiss, no service." Kagura groaned before moving over and hesistantly pecked his cheek. "C'mon, that was barely a kiss."

"Well that's what you wanted. Now give me, my pomergrante!" Kagura said before tackling him to get her fruit.

"No. I want your lip-print on my cheek." he pouted.

She gave him a weird look, "Why?"

"Because it'll be awesome." he grinned as Kagura rolled her eyes.

"Fine but remember I'm only doing this for my pomergrante." she told him before grabbing his face and kissed him long and hard, making sure she left a red lip imprint on his face.

"There. A big red lip-print..." she pulled away while Bankotsu grinned, "Now give me, my pomergrante." she demanded while he delightedly gave it to her.

"Finally." she reprieved, eating the small fruity pebbles, ignoring Bankotsu's dazed face.

Kagura had only been able to enjoy the quiet, peaceful yet disturbing five minutes in her room, enjoying her delicious pomergrante, despite how much of a huge bite he took out of it. "Why did you have to take a big bite out of my apple, Bankotsu?" she asked him slightly annoyed.

He looked over and leaned his head on her shoulder, "Because I wanted to make sure it wouldn't poison my future wife." She choked out the fruit she had in her mouth and spat it out before pointing a finger at him.

"I AM NOT MARRYING YOU!!!" she declared while he smirked.

"That's not what it says on the deed to the manor." he waggled his finger.

"I only wanted 'marry' you, just so no other neighboring princes wouldn't try to to seek my hand in marriage." she explained.

He grinned, "So, still doesn't mean anything. We're still stated as a 'married' couple in the deed."

"FORGET THE DEED!! THERE'S NO WAY I'M MARRYING A GOOF LIKE YOU!!"

"Goof? I can be serious... only when I _want_ to be." he pointed out as Kagura scowled and crossed her arms. "Whatever." she scoffed.

She blinked when she felt him staring at her weird again. "What's wrong _this_ time?"

"There's something on your face." he pointed out, squinting his eyes at her face again.

"What? Another eye booger..." she frozed when she felt something hot and wet slide up her face, at the end of her mouth.

"No." Bankotsu murmured, "A little pomergrante." he grinned while Kagura sat there frozen in wide eyed shock.

~!#$#!~

Meanwhile in the dining room, Suikotsu and Renkotsu were found drinking wine, Hakudoshi was eating his dumplings and Naraku sat at the head of the table reading a scroll he found in the castle.

Suikotsu groaned, "Oh the children... were having sexual relations." he blurted the last words in horror.

"But Suikotsu, Bankotsu's-" Renkotsu started to say.

"Too young to have pre-marital sex!" Suikotsu cut him off while rubbing his temples to help soothe a headache.

"Bankotsu had sex with who?" Hakudoshi asked randomly out of boredom while playing with his food. "Kagura?"

Naraku remained oblivious to this.

"Well, yeah. We heard them on our way down here." Renkotsu explained while Hakudoshi rolled his eyes.

"Surprise, Surprise." There was a faint but loud shrilled scream echoing down the hall. The three males blinked while Naraku quietly dranked his wine.

"BANKOTSU!!!" they heard Kagura yelling while there was rushed footsteps passing by the dining room.

"What's wrong? I said I wouldn't _trick_ you into doing anything!!" they heard him explained before yelping soon after.

"BANKOTSU COME BACK HERE AND _**DIE**_ LIKE A MAN!!"

Suikotsu freaked out while Renkotsu and Hakudoshi shuddered slightly at the tone of voice Kagura regarded Bankotsu with.

Naraku however, seemed inevitable towards this and frowned, "..."

"She's an animal." Renkotsu commented before Naraku opened his mouth.

"No. This is just typical behavior between a wife and a husband."

~!#$#!~

**A/N: Awww, how's that for a 'short' one shot? Hahaha, playing with Bankotsu and using him to annoy Kagura is fun XD**

Bankotsu; What type of action is this!? She's practically trying to kill me here!!

Kagura; That's what you get for licking my mouth when you promised you wouldn't trick me!

**But this is what you get for believing him... o.o  
**  
Kagura; *lifts crowbar* What was that?

**N-Nothing... *runs off for dear life* .;;  
**  
Kagura; HEY!! COME BACK HERE!! *chases after Authoress*

Bankotsu; Okay obviously, She won't be able to threaten you guys to review but she did leave this note *reads note aloud* _'If you leave a good amount of reviews for this story, Bankotsu may get some tail in the next one shot..._' ...Wait whoa! I can get laid!!

Kagura; *still chasing after Authoress* GET BACK HERE!! *stops running before noticing note and reading it's content* Oh no she didn't...

Bankotsu; REVIEW IF YOU LOVE ME PEOPLE!! :D

Kagura; DON'T YOU EVEN DARE REVIEW!! I'LL DESTROY YOU, ONE BY ONE!!

Bankotsu; Ignore her! REVIEW REVIEW!!! *forces peer pressure on reviewers* REVIEW!!


End file.
